Coffee With E

Women in Leadership: Insights from an 'Exactly What To Say' Certified Guide, Andrea Ferry-Daniels

• Erica Rawls

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Welcome to another episode of Coffee with E! Today, I’m talking with Andrea Daniels, a leadership coach who shows us how to grow our businesses, guide our teams, and stay true to who we are. We cover:

  • Setting Boundaries: Why it matters and how to do it without being seen as “too tough.”
  • Handling Conflict: How to respond instead of react and hold space for real conversations.
  • Building Self-Awareness: Simple questions you can ask yourself to become a stronger leader.
  • Effective Communication: Tips on asking better questions, cold calling, and lead generation.

Andrea shares personal stories and insights that will help you step up your leadership game. Tune in to learn how to be more compassionate, communicate clearly, and support the people around you.

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Andrea Daniels:

you might absorb that you don't want to absorb. That you have to realize when people act out, it has nothing to do with you. It's their own thing. So if I'm upset by how someone treated me, I have to realize number one, it's not me, people do things for their own reasons. And number two, I can choose how I respond there. So it starts with if something makes me feel a certain way or I don't feel good about a situation, why am I not feeling good and how can I handle it differently? They know at the end of the day I will go to bat for them. They're fiercely loyal because I will go to bat for them. So the people that you're leading know that you're going to do what's in the best interest of the group or that person. Or is it more important for your ego to be in front of that room?

Erica Rawls:

welcome to another episode of coffee with e. We're having a quaint conversation in a beautiful multi-million dollar Airbnb today. I cannot wait to tell you the backstory of this beautiful mansion. It is absolutely gorgeous. But until then, I have the opportunity to sit down with Andrea Daniels, who is a leader in her own right and we all know this platform. We like to have little conversations about how to evolve into your best self. Well, today we're going to talk about women in leadership. Ready, grab some coffee? Turn up that knob on your radio if you're commuting to work. You ready? We're going to have a great conversation. Andrea Erica, how are you?

Andrea Daniels:

Doing, doing great. Thank you so much for having me here.

Erica Rawls:

You're so welcome. First I need to say thank you, because for you to come two hours is some change. Just to have a conversation with me like seriously, I really do not take that lightly, I don't take it lightly that you asked me to become a guest.

Andrea Daniels:

Thank, you so much so I'd rather be here in person than video to video. So much so important in relationships to be face to face.

Erica Rawls:

Oh my gosh. Yeah, oh my gosh. So I have to share with the audience, like, how we actually met. We met, okay, so we officially met. Oh my gosh, Andrea, you're going to have to help me. We officially met. Did I just sign up for your class? And that's how we met.

Andrea Daniels:

No, we met before that. We did a private course with the Agent Leadership Council in your office in June before I came and did a workshop.

Erica Rawls:

That's exactly right. I'm like wait a second. There's so many different times that we actually met, so what was the first time? That's exactly right. That was probably the first week of June.

Andrea Daniels:

Yeah.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, of this year, this year. And then we had exactly the same training, but I wasn't there, correct. And then we had the Women's Mastermind. And then we met Nope, that's not true. We had the class. The class, it was a virtual class Y'all. She didn't know how tall I was. This is a true story. She didn't know how tall I was. So you know how you don't see people in real life, right? So you see them for the first time and you don't know what to expect, because sometimes, even on Zoom, people look different in person, not sometimes all the time, right? They never tell you how tall you are. Well, you all know I'm 5'11. On a good day, today, I I'm 6'2", probably with my heels. So we're walking into this women's conference. I say, hey, andrea, she literally goes. I won't tell you what she said.

Andrea Daniels:

I said you look like a very tall supermodel. In reference, I'm only 5'3". What's those superlatives in there? Yes, oh, yes, I probably did say maybe a word.

Erica Rawls:

Yes, and it was the best thing ever, like she made my day, like we gave each other hugs and, yes, it was instant connection. I didn't expect you to be so tall. Yes, well, I love you for it. However, I was attracted because she was actually one of the main speakers there to talk about leadership. That's why I wanted to have her here today, because she really knows what she's talking about. When it comes to leadership, she's a leader in her own right and I can't, cannot wait to share her story. So I again thank you for being here, of course, yeah, thanks for being here. So I was sharing some of these questions with you and I did say, hey, just be open and honest, and we're going to have a conversation. Right, we're going to have some coffee here and you're going to have some water and we're just going to let it rip, okay, so can you share a little bit about your journey with leadership? Good Lord, see, we're in real estate with leadership becoming a leader.

Andrea Daniels:

So one of the first things that I said when I sat down is I didn't really choose to become a leader. I actually probably kept running away from leadership. However, from a young age, I was someone who kind of stood up for other people and defended them, and that's number one. Number two when there's a topic or a subject that I'm in charge of, I want to know everything about it. I'm extremely curious which will move you up in the leadership world if you are very knowledgeable about a subject.

Erica Rawls:

Ambitious and knowledgeable.

Andrea Daniels:

Ambitious and knowledgeable. Yes, so my first experience in leadership was at Widener University. I was a resident assistant at the age of 18, because it covered $7,000 of room and board, so that was my first experience in leadership. And then I worked at Lincoln Financial for a number of years on the sales desk and was a leader there, and then I was a team leader of a brokerage in South Jersey. So leadership what I've learned about leadership is what you say is extremely important because your title gives what you say a little extra oomph. So if you were just some random person saying it, it might have not had sorry about that. If you were some random person saying it, it might not have as much of an impact. But if you have a leader or leadership or a title next to your name, people see it differently, they feel it differently.

Erica Rawls:

So, yeah, I say this all the time on probably every episode to whom much you're given as much as required? Right, it's just a principle, it's in the Bible. The title yeah, you have to be a certain way when you're given a title, right, because it does hold value so, and it sucks sometimes. I also see that the environment that we're in is starting to shift a little bit, and I see why your words matter, right, more than ever.

Andrea Daniels:

So go ahead. I love that. You said that One of my friends was giving a presentation the other day and I'm going to paraphrase this and he said if you are a leader who's giving feedback without intention, you're not careful about it. It's more like target practice. I mean your words, it's like, well, you're doing great, erica, but so your words have that much more impact if you're not careful, because someone might just feel attacked, if you're not mixing the positive with the negative. We'll call it.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah. So let's go back to your leadership journey as a residential assistant in college. Resident assistant yes, yes that I remember not being one, for many reasons Like why did you want to do that? Why?

Andrea Daniels:

Well, it's not that I wanted to do it. My parents worked really hard, okay, and I took out $9,000 a year in student loans. They covered some. I worked two jobs every summer and gave all that money to college. So $7,000 of a $26,000 tuition, I mean it just felt like the right thing to do. So all of that weight wasn't on my parents.

Erica Rawls:

So what qualities did you learn in that role? I grew up really fast.

Andrea Daniels:

Yeah, because you start to see what happens behind closed doors and how vulnerable women can be at that age. I mean, you're 17, 18, 19 years old. You're very impressionable. So I would say I learned how to. Hmm, I guess I would say I learned how to hold it together. Wow, at a very young age.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

How to be responsible, how to be responsible for other people at that age, how to you know, even when you are not on RA duty, people are watching. So people are watching you on the campus, people are watching you in the college community. So you kind of always had to be on. So I was minding my P's and Q's a little bit more in college than maybe an average college student who doesn't have to be responsible for their floor of men or women.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, on previous episodes we even talked about how, when you are a leader, it's like you're dealing with your self-worth at the same time as trying to evolve into a leader. It's like it's huge right. So I'm just imagining the 17 year old Andrea right, like okay, who am I Right? And then trying to figure out okay, now I got to lead. These people are that and show up as you know, the person that's in charge of our, you know of these younger, younger college people like it's a big responsibility, it's a huge responsibility, yeah. So what's the biggest lesson that you learned from that?

Andrea Daniels:

Probably compassion. The biggest lesson is compassion, as people are coming to you if they need something. They're struggling with a roommate, struggling with a boy, they're struggling with school. I think it's important as a leader to be able to hold space, be empathetic, be compassionate, instead of just turning around trying to give advice. I mean, when's the point where you're like all right, maybe we should talk to someone who's not me, Maybe we should go to the health center? So I would say, being able to listen, being able to hold space and being able to really just be there for someone.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, yeah, 100%, and then we're going to fast forward to being a team leader, because that's probably the most recent from where you are now. How do you relate to that experience as an RA to working with now realtors?

Andrea Daniels:

It's a lot of emotion up and down. When you're an entrepreneur. It is a lot of emotion. It's a lot of emotion because you're dealing with people's biggest investment in life. They're buying or selling a home. If they're selling a home, a lot of emotions and lifetime memories went into that. If people are buying a home, it's for the first time. It's overwhelming. So you have those emotions of your clients on top of trying to make it as an entrepreneur. The average realtor sells four houses a year.

Andrea Daniels:

So to really make it in the business, you have to be prepared to do the work. So I felt as though one of the biggest responsibilities as a team leader is if someone was getting to real estate. They understood that it wasn't just HGTV, that there was a lot of hard work behind it, that you had to have money saved, that it was a commission-based environment. So I felt as though one of the important things was, before people came into real estate, that they knew how much work it was. That's for new realtors, for experienced realtors, it doesn't matter what company you're with.

Andrea Daniels:

If you weren't doing the work at A brokerage, you're not going to do the work at B brokerage. So what's different and are you going to make the changes that you need to. Are you not in the right community? Do you need different people around you? So I would say that experience it was in recruiting, knowing that people had certain expectations. The brokerage isn't going to change you. You have to do the work and then leading the current agents that were there it's not as much as leading them as in retention making sure that they're happy, that the people with you currently are growing, that they have a next step. So it's a little bit of a balance between recruiting and keeping your current agents happy and retained.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, isn't that what leadership is all about? Is being able to? You're casting a vision and then making sure people understand it right so that they're able to, yeah, execute at that high level. I find that sometimes it's challenging to get people to see okay, yeah, well, I see the vision right, and maybe they just don't have the capacity, or I don't know the ability, to actually execute at that level. So they're like, well, forget it as far as retention is concerned, I'm just going to go somewhere else because I'm just not getting it. Or they may not feel like seen or heard.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

I definitely understand what you're saying about. You know people definitely need to be seen, they definitely need to be heard and they want to feel wanted and that you want to be there. And I think, with you saying about leadership, it's one thing to tell someone what to do. It's another thing to ask them questions and be patient enough to let them know that they're capable of it and grow into it. Because if I just tell you what to do, no one wants to be told what to do. But if I can ask you really good questions so you know that you're worth it, you can do it and you can step into it. That's different.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, and you're so good at that too Asking good questions.

Andrea Daniels:

Asking good questions. The last two years I've worked on it a lot and it started with asking myself questions Like if I feel— Tell us more when I—if I—I don't like to use the word triggered, but if I get C-RED, that's what I call it If I C-RED, I get a high jolt of emotions. I go internal. Why am I feeling this way? Why is it causing this emotion? It's really not the other person, it's me. Why am I feeling this way? Why am I taking on their emotions?

Andrea Daniels:

And I think being introspective is very, very important as a leader, because you're holding space for other people. If other people are acting out and are having all these things, you might absorb that you don't want to absorb, that you have to realize when people act out, it has nothing to do with you, it's their own thing. So if I'm upset by how someone treated me, I have to realize number one, it's not me. People do things for their own reasons. And number two, I can choose how I respond there. So it starts with if something makes me feel a certain way or I don't feel good about a situation, why am I not feeling good and how can I handle it differently?

Andrea Daniels:

And how long did it take for you to get to that point? Because I know 45. I'm 47.

Erica Rawls:

She said, it took me a long time to actually get there.

Andrea Daniels:

I have a very high empathy score, so it's like I just I feel things and I take it personally. It has nothing to do with me.

Erica Rawls:

Right Nothing Zero Right.

Andrea Daniels:

It's not about me.

Erica Rawls:

So I mean being transparent. I would struggle with that too. I mean, you can give a certain day and I think I would say, yeah, I struggle with, yeah, taking things so personally. So what are the questions that we need to ask ourselves again, because that would be something I want to be able to.

Andrea Daniels:

So if someone says something that maybe is a little off-putting to me, why am I feeling this way? What emotion am I feeling? Because typically, if you get angry, it's really masking another emotion, which is maybe anxiety or stress or insecurity. There's something else underneath it. So why am I feeling this way and what's causing it and what is this really about?

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, what is this really about? I think it's the key one, yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

There's nothing to do with me. Maybe they said something and it was a little too honest. Maybe I wasn't open to being honest with myself and they had a trigger where I'm like, oh, that's something I've been thinking about myself and maybe they're right, or maybe they're not right.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, yeah. So now, since that time, like when you interact with people, whether it's good, bad or indifferent, right, I'm hearing you say that you know that. Okay, if I do get like I guess tingling up my spine like, okay, why am I feeling this way? You just revert to that in that moment, or is that something that you take away?

Andrea Daniels:

Oh, I revert to it in that moment Because I'm trying to deescalate it and not show it on my face. Deescalate there. It takes me probably about a week to marinate in it before I'm ready to go back and have a conversation.

Erica Rawls:

So I was going to ask you do you go back and have a conversation with that?

Andrea Daniels:

person, I used to avoid confrontation at all costs and just not say anything. Now I go back and have the conversation. It's probably been the best decision of my life.

Erica Rawls:

Wow, andrea, when I tell you just this morning I wrote I wish I would have who knew I would be in my journal. I wrote in my journal, literally wrote in my journal. You know what I was. I'm feeling a certain way about certain situation and I don't know if I want to approach you.

Andrea Daniels:

know the person and, as a result of that, I think I'm just going to let it sit right and figure it out and then determine if it's something I want to address that past moment or do I wait for when the opportunity happens again? That's a good question. So I'm going to tell you, you should probably do whichever one feels most comfortable for you with me. Depending on how upset I was, I realize the other person has to be in the same moment that I'm in. So if I'm in a relationship with that person not a spousal, but if I say it's another female, are we? I'm gonna have that conversation when that person's not elevated.

Andrea Daniels:

If we're having a great conversation, we're having a great vibe, I might bring it up then because I feel safe, because that person might be open to hearing it. If it happens again, you could bring it up then as well, being, like you know, I always think if it happens in the moment, they're not ready for it Versus preparing them hey, erica, you know, if you have a few moment, they're not ready for it versus preparing them hey, erica, you know, if you have a few moments. There's just something I wanted to share with you. Would you be open-minded to having a conversation that way they're prepared, versus if it's in the moment and we're heated and we feel that in the moment and we spring it on them. I don't know if it would have the same outcome.

Erica Rawls:

Hey, I'm hoping you're enjoying this episode of Coffee with E. I had to take 30 seconds to share with you one of our sponsors for this episode, top Construction. They are premier construction company located in central PA, so if you live in Dauphin, cumberland, lancaster and Lebanon counties, you want to check them out. Not only are they reliable, they are reasonable and they get the job done. Now let's go back to the episode. Yeah, it could end up adding like fuel to the fire.

Andrea Daniels:

Because are you going to be at your best future, Like, would your future self be proud of how you acted in that moment? Because in that moment you're going to be elevated. You're like, oh, it happened again. Now I'm going to come defend myself, Whereas in a moment where you're not emotionally tied to that and one of my speaking coaches said to me you should only tell a story if it's a scar and not a wound.

Erica Rawls:

Meaning.

Andrea Daniels:

So if it's a scar, that means it's healed. If it's a wound, that means it still hurts. So if you're having that conversation and it's coming up as a wound, you're like here it comes again. Versus, you've resolved yourself from the other conversation that happened. You're ready to go back and talk about it because you're no longer in that heated moment.

Erica Rawls:

Okay, I got you Because I'm thinking why would you want to pick a scar?

Andrea Daniels:

No, no, no, it's healed. You're okay. You're not emotionally tied to it. Got it. Got it, not a scab, a scar.

Erica Rawls:

Okay, right, okay, there we go. I'm like wait. I don't know if I want to pick that scab. So then, who's been the most influential? Can I say the word Influential? Who has been the most influential person when it comes to like your leadership style?

Andrea Daniels:

That's a great question. Am I allowed to mention within one?

Erica Rawls:

Absolutely.

Andrea Daniels:

So I'm going to start with my parents. I feel like my parents are both of me combined into one person, so if my dad has anything to say, it'll be short, sweet and concise and you'll know he meant it. So he doesn't really talk a ton but when he does pay attention.

Andrea Daniels:

Now my mom is super friendly, welcomes everybody. Everyone has a seat at the table. So she was in sales and my dad worked for the railroad. So learning from them like I've never heard my dad erase his voice. So you don't need to scream to demand respect or attention, you don't even have to erase your voice. So it's being calm, cool, collected in moments that matter from my dad. And if you are going to say something, mean it, Because if you're talking all the time, there's no priority in what you say. From my mom's side, it's always being included and inclusive, and if someone didn't have a family, they will be part of ours. So it's bringing people along with you. After that, I had a really great leader. His name was Gary Spence. He was the head of the retirements division at Lincoln Financial. He is now the CEO for Anthony Robinson Incorporated.

Erica Rawls:

Oh wow, oh wow.

Andrea Daniels:

Everyone loved him. They didn't know why. Well, he got it. And then there is another woman who I met through the Phil Jones community. Her name is Tricia Browers. She's a senior vice president for Wintrust Mortgage. She's the big sister I never knew I had or wanted, and I've bounced a lot of things off of her, and she's asked me a lot of really great questions when I've had those heated moments.

Andrea Daniels:

And then I would say, to top it all off, phil Jones has been a huge mentor and leader that I've looked up to, because in my journey with leaders over the last 20, 25 years, they put accountability upon me. But I was already really hard on myself and accountable on myself, and what I really needed from a leader was grace, and that is the one thing that Phil has given me, and I would say I've grown exponentially because of it, because I'm not afraid to mess up. I'm not afraid to not do this or not do that or not do it perfectly. I don't need someone to tell me to get up and do it. I mean, I used to be a fitness competitor in three different sports. Accountability and doing it is not the thing. It's being there if I'm not sure of myself or if I'm going to mess up.

Erica Rawls:

There's of myself, or if I'm going to mess up. Yeah, there should be my five leaders. I love that. No, and you know what I feel, as though at each stage in our life, we always have someone that influences us to. You know, elevate to the next level. You know you can't succeed alone. You know what I mean. It takes a village. It does take a village. So, when it comes to women in leadership, do you mind sharing some of the challenges that you've seen, or you know, experienced, that may help us overcome With female leaders of mine, or being a female leader, just being a female leader in general?

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, like, what are some of the challenges that you see? Do you think it's gotten better in? You know our world, whether it's real estate or just you know corporate.

Andrea Daniels:

There's two things I'm thinking. Yeah, so back in the 1980s in the book the One Thing by Jerry Papasan, work-life balance didn't come into play until the 1980s, when most women entered the workforce. Mm, is there really balance, mm? So that wasn't a thing when mostly men were in the workforce. To answer your question about women in leadership, I think there's a fine line between having boundaries and being called a bitch. It's like how am I supposed to navigate this?

Erica Rawls:

How are we supposed to navigate it? Yes, sorry.

Andrea Daniels:

Who are asking really good questions? I don't know how are we supposed to navigate it. Yes, sorry, it's okay. Who are we asking really good questions? I don't know. Yes, how are we supposed to navigate it? I think turnality has a lot to do with it. Yeah, and I think women can be great leaders because they hold space and they listen, not that men don't. However, when I was in corporate America, I was asked you know, andrea, maybe if you wore pink you'd be a little more feminine?

Erica Rawls:

No, I did not, and.

Andrea Daniels:

I thought to myself well, maybe if I was a man, would I be confident, would I be a leader? Would I be seen differently? So I think, because women are seen as more emotional creatures, people take that and say, well, you're just being too emotional. So something that I've learned to do is, if I'm leading and I'm writing an email or having a conversation, I base it on facts, not emotions.

Erica Rawls:

That's exactly right. Yeah, yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

I think it's gotten better, though, with a lot of the up and coming women leaders.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, I don't know how much better.

Andrea Daniels:

But I think it's gotten better.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, so how did you overcome the? You know, when we're we as women leaders, when we actually present something and we're stern and we're direct, you know, like you said, we're not, we're perceived as someone that's evil or, you know, wicked, or you know what I mean. So how did you?

Andrea Daniels:

overcome that. Well, anytime I go to present something, I show up an hour early and I make friends with the crowd before they know I'm the presenter. So that is one way, and I think a lot of it's based on relationships. So if people know that what I'm saying is in the best interest of the group and I'm sharing the vision as a leader, I think it would be more well-received.

Andrea Daniels:

One of the people who I currently work with now I went to a John Maxwell leadership event in Dressel Hill, pennsylvania, and I thought that income and money was important to the person that I was leading. And I came home from the event at the John Maxwell event and I asked what was important to this person and they said it's not money, they just needed to know that they mattered, that they were important. So here I am 46 years in leadership, I go to a John Maxwell event, come home with really good information. And then I asked the person who reported to me you know what's important to you? You know I'm really trying to help build our. You know your income? And he said I just need to know that I matter. So I hired a leadership coach shortly after that. Oh, wow, yeah, my leadership coach is in the UK and she holds space for me, so I can hold space for other people.

Erica Rawls:

Wow, that's awesome. Yeah, that is awesome. So what would you say to a young woman starting out in a leadership position? Maybe it's their first one and, for an example, they may be like 30 and yet they have to manage people that may be 20 years you know their age.

Andrea Daniels:

So I would say it starts by leading yourself. So having some conversations with yourself saying you know what, excuse me, what's important to the people that I'm leading, am I serving them at the highest level? What kind of leadership do they need? Not everybody needs accountability. Some people need compassion, some people need grace. So I think it would.

Andrea Daniels:

I'd start by getting how can I get in a better relationship with the people that I lead so they know that I'm here supporting them and that I'm hitting the show me that you know me button so they know I'm going to bat for them? So there's two women who I've led in the past few years in my hometown and they're in sales and they know, at the end of the day, I will go to bat for them. They're fiercely loyal because I will go to bat for them. So the people that you're leading know that you're going to do what's in the best interest of the group or that person. Or is it more important for your ego to be in front of that room? So I think it starts with the relationships, of getting into really good relationship with the people that you're leading.

Andrea Daniels:

Yeah, yeah, because you shouldn't have to prove yourself. You already have the role. There's no need to prove yourself. You were given the role for a reason. You've already proved yourself. That's why you have the role. So, if you have the role, let's stop the imposter syndrome. You have it Now. Let's go and see what we can do to serve the people in front of us. What are we serving? What are we solving? How can we support those people?

Erica Rawls:

So what do you say to the woman that struggles with leading men? They may be in a male-dominant industry or field industry or field.

Andrea Daniels:

Hmm, hmm, that's a good question, mm-hmm. Or you know Like thick skin.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

I mean you can't. I would say my advice for that is don't take anything personally, it has nothing to do with you, and ask that man or that person hey, how can I support you? What's important to you, how can? What do you look for in a leader? How do you like to be held accountable? I would say, if I think back to all of the males that I led, is don't take it personally and have some thick skin and be confident, don't waver, stand your ground. It's not about being a bitch, it's about being confident in your communication. Right, right, that's a good question.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

I wish I knew them when I know now. I mean there are so many situations that I had male leaders where things were said to me and I didn't know how to communicate without sounding like a brat or emotional or bitchy, so I just didn't say anything and then I just let it build up and build up and build up, knowing today what I know. I wish I knew then what I know today, I would have been able to stick up for myself or ask really good questions back or communicate how I was feeling. So I would say, if I was a female leader whether I had a few subordinates or not subordinates, I would say a few members of staff, men or women I'd start being able to be able to ask questions, hold space and really keep my emotions in check and neutral. That's hard, especially if you're highly emotional.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, 100%. Have you ever experienced a situation where you felt as though someone took advantage of your emotions as a woman in a leadership, whether you were in that leadership position or someone that you actually reported to, and how did you handle that?

Andrea Daniels:

Well, earlier in my career I avoided confrontation. Someone had said to me once I was having problems with someone on my team and with a colleague not someone who reported me. My boss at the time said I feel like you're my kids and you're fighting back and forth. That made me feel about this big. So I would say I am the leader I am today because of negative situations, that I was in a situation where my feelings were hurt. I was told I was too emotional and I didn't quite have the right words to say something, to stick up for myself or say am I supposed to be compliant? That's not okay. Why would you say it to me like that? I mean it would have come out messy and probably insubordination at that point.

Erica Rawls:

And I think that there's a place for every type of leader. That's what makes the world go round, right? So it'd be kind of weird if we were all like stoic or we were all like cavalier and all were. You know, it would be kind of weird if we were all like stoic or we were all like cavalier and all were. You know, it would be kind of weird.

Andrea Daniels:

Yeah.

Erica Rawls:

So and I honestly think I'm just going to be biased because I am one, a woman I think women are better leaders because we do have that compassion and we also, I think, believe that it's my experience that we tend to listen more Right, that we tend to listen more right and we ask emotional questions, even to our male counterparts. They're like, oh, I never even thought about it that way. It's nothing for me to have a conversation with even a male and just notice it. I'm like, okay, they're welling up. I just ask them a simple question, right? It's because they'll say no one's ever asked me that question before. So I think we're blessed that way we are, because we have that maternal instinct to actually connect and to resonate, and I truly do believe that helps people to lead, because they know that you care. It's not just about the job that they're doing, it's about you genuinely care about them Exactly. It's bigger than the job, it's way bigger than that, for women.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, bigger than the job. So, and we just had a episode where we were talking about friendships, like how important it is for you to like who you're working with too Right, we would never have heard that being a statement, you know, maybe 20 years ago. Yeah, I want to have, I want to be friends with the people I work with. Matter of fact, I know my parents were like you don't want to be friends with the people that you work with. Work is work and home is your friends are home, you know.

Andrea Daniels:

So it's very different. Yeah, and the thing is, if you spend 40, 50 hours a week working, you should like what you do, you should like your environment, you should feel empowered, not disempowered because of how people treat you. I mean, 20, 25 years ago I was very like I'm up here, you're down there. That's not like that anymore.

Erica Rawls:

Well, in my experience, yeah, yeah, dictatorship, no, no. And then plus the Gen Zs wouldn't allow it to happen anyways, of course, they would not allow it to happen. Yeah, so let's talk about self-doubt, imposter syndrome and criticism, like how do you navigate those challenges? You touched on it a little bit, so let's go a little bit deeper.

Andrea Daniels:

Sure. So I used to be very defensive when I got feedback, because people would not ask me if I was open-minded to feedback, they would just give it.

Erica Rawls:

So it's important to ask the question are you open-minded too? How open-minded are?

Andrea Daniels:

an engineer by trade and he's operations and honest facts. That's how he communicates. So we talk about are you a? Because he'll tell me what he thinks and then I'm like you are my feelings.

Andrea Daniels:

So, how open-minded are you to feedback and is it? Are they in the right mindset to receive that feedback in the moment? So I think asking for permission to give feedback is important, first because they might not be in the headspace to receive it. That's number one. Number two understanding if you are giving feedback or criticism, understanding what might be causing it. Is there something happening at home? Are they taking care of a loved one? Is something happening in their life that's contributing to why they're not performing? So that might have a lot to do with it. About criticism for imposter syndrome I never knew that was a thing until, like I don't know, the last two years.

Andrea Daniels:

I was going to say last year, right, yeah, I thought that was just me being nervous to go do something that I've never done before.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

Like we're never. No one ever has it all figured out Right.

Erica Rawls:

Right right.

Andrea Daniels:

We're all at moments where we're growing into something, a better version of ourselves yeah so let's take that label off and just say we're growing into a role that we haven't had yet so okay.

Erica Rawls:

So you're saying, okay, just scrap the whole idea of imposter syndrome. It's just like something that we're all evolving yeah, we're all evolving, yeah um, and and then I think also you had asked about criticism.

Andrea Daniels:

Yeah, I would say, because currently I'm in a community of people where I trust their opinion and I know they mean the best for me. I'm like all right, what's your feedback? Give it back, give it to me. So I think it's important when you do get criticism and feedback, who is it coming from? How are they delivering it? And are they doing it because they feel threatened or it's an ego, or because they really care about you? Because if they really cared about you, they should be delivering it in a way where it's going to help you grow and not shrink you.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, yeah. And when I hear you say that, I'm just thinking about when we have to give, like, evaluations of the people that we lead, and it's very important to start out with one what is their mindset Like? What are they actually thinking right now? Are they in the? Are they coachable? Yeah, so, just implementing that question Are you open minded to feedback? How open minded, how open minded, see, I have to learn. Well, are you open minded is to feedback? How open-minded, how open-minded, see, I have to learn.

Andrea Daniels:

Well. Are you open-minded? Is looking for a yes or a no? It's a decision. Yeah. If you're looking for a discussion, if you're going into a review, how open-minded are you to feedback at this moment? And I'd also start with how do you feel like you've done this year? How do you feel like you've performed? What's one thing that you think got in front of some things that you wanted to accomplish? What's one thing do you think you struggled with? What's one thing you did really well? Yeah, what's one thing that you're missing that could help you reach your goals? If I were to do an assessment with an employee at this stage of my life, with everything I've learned, I wouldn't make it telling. I'd make it all questions before.

Erica Rawls:

I deliver anything 100%. Yeah, I wouldn't make it telling, I'd make it all questions before I deliver anything A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah, self-actualization is probably the best thing. Yeah, it's so hard, though, because it's slow. You have to be patient. Yeah, yeah, what? The person actually listening?

Andrea Daniels:

No, the leader, the leader has to be patient.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, the leader definitely has to be patient. Yeah, and hold space. And I truly enjoy hearing what other people's perceptions of is of themselves, like how self-aware are they, like it's so eyeopening.

Andrea Daniels:

You just nailed it. Most people aren't self-aware.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

They're not. They're in their own little world. They don't even realize how what they're doing is affecting other. How self-aware are they? On a scale of one to 10, how would you score yourself so?

Erica Rawls:

you know how deep you have to go in the conversation. Yeah, is.

Andrea Daniels:

They might not be the level that you're at, and if you've been working on yourself for a number of years, you're very self-aware yeah of your pros and cons other people me right, right, yeah.

Erica Rawls:

if they think they're a 10 out of 10, you're like, okay, they're, they're maybe a four. You know there's a gap somewhere. So, yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah, I like the leading questions. That's something that we always practice, you know, on our team, because I think it's really important. However, I love the how open-minded are you too, which is something that I'm looking forward to. Yeah, I'll borrow A hundred percent.

Andrea Daniels:

No, I'm stealing that I'm looking for. Yeah, I'll borrow, I'm 100%.

Erica Rawls:

No, I'm stealing and I'm taking it all away. Taking it all away. So what's been the most rewarding part of your leadership journey?

Andrea Daniels:

I always feel like you just need one person to believe in you.

Erica Rawls:

Yes.

Andrea Daniels:

I feel like I'm that person for like hundreds of people, and so much so that people have come back to me like, do you remember when you said I'm like, oh god, I don't know about that, so. But then I'm like, oh, that sounds like me. So seeing people flourish and thrive and not have a life otherwise possible. I didn't give them anything, I just believed them, just give them a little bit of hope. So I would say, when people are successful and I see just the I don't want to say the fruits of their labor, it's like I just encourage them a little bit and seeing them succeed at a high level, like I don't need, I don't need you to post me on Facebook, I don't need you to post me on Instagram.

Andrea Daniels:

I'm like this one little hype girl in the background cheering like you got this, yeah, yeah, that's been amazing. I mean countless people. It's just amazing to see them grow. Like I have a client in Colorado. She every single goal that she set out she hit and it was like I want to buy a Bronco, or you know, I think her biggest transaction was 2.3 million this year. It's like I'm just as excited for you to get those things as you are Because I used to be in competitive sports as an adult figure powerlifting CrossFit and it's like you get on stage, you get a trophy, like that's cool.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

But if you can see other people succeed just by being the one person who has their back, I would say that's. I mean I don't need the speechless. It's like amazing to see.

Erica Rawls:

It is so fulfilling.

Andrea Daniels:

So fulfilling, yeah. So, fulfilling because they're accomplishing something that they didn't think they could accomplish before.

Erica Rawls:

Or they set out to do. They said they wanted to do a thing and, given them the tools you know and the knowledge, they were able to implement it and just knock it out the park.

Andrea Daniels:

That is very rewarding, very rewarding, and there's a colleague of mine who said this the other day that reminds me of imposter syndrome is when you don't have the courage to spar somebody else's.

Andrea Daniels:

So I feel like I'm giving courage out all the time. There was three young ladies One was there in Arizona, one was in California, one was in Texas and we were talking and they're like oh God, andrew, I wish I was just as confident as you and I said I don't want you to have to go through what I went through to have the confidence I have. The reason I bet on myself, the reason I end this confident, is because for far too long I let things happen that shouldn't have happened and now I'm standing up for myself. So I want to help you get your voice before you have to go through those hard things, and maybe they have to go through those hard things to learn it. But the only reason I'm competitive or confident is because I never want to feel the way I felt in moments where people said things and I didn't know how to respond.

Erica Rawls:

I never want anyone else to feel like that ever yeah, yeah, no, that's really good, that is really good. So can we talk about your business, because you have a coaching.

Andrea Daniels:

Coaching and training business yes. Sure. So four years ago almost five years ago now I was a recruiter for a large real estate brokerage and I interviewed about 3,000 sales professionals and what I realized is the things that they struggled with was lead generation, lead conversion. In my 25 years of corporate, that's what my focus was, was prospecting. So when COVID hit, I told my boss at the time I said I think I'm going to resign and start that company and I called that dang old COVID.

Erica Rawls:

I was best experienced and everybody thinks that, yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

So I said to baby Jesus. I said, baby Jesus, what am I good at? What can I do from anywhere in the world? And what am I good at? And baby Jesus said you're really. He said you're really good at making phone calls and I could do that in any time zone anywhere in the world. So I called up one of my agents and I said Jerry, I have this idea. I said I want to do this business, I want to start a company. How open minded are you to letting me start it in your database? And I started calling his database and setting appointments. So Jerry went from $134,000 a year in gross commission income to $760,000 in less than three, maybe three, four years.

Andrea Daniels:

Whoa, and I taught my hairdresser Stacy, my best hire ever, taught her how to book appointments. And that's how I started training people, because everyone's like, oh my God, I want someone to book appointments for me. And it was a lot of trial and error. There wasn't. I mean, I was taking out any training class I'd been to. I was taking out scripts, I was rewriting them because they felt kind of cringy. Yeah, and to me you're not really cold calling or prospecting, you're just calling people who you're not friends with yet. It was like a high for every 30 seconds. What are they going to say? What do they got to ask? Like they going to hang up on me and you just learned how to read people over the phone.

Erica Rawls:

So I just Cold calling is the hardest thing.

Andrea Daniels:

Is it, though? Telephobia is a real thing. 40% of the population suffer from it. You're welcome.

Erica Rawls:

Are you serious?

Andrea Daniels:

Yes, telephobia is a real thing Telephobia Okay. I would never be in this chair today had I not picked up the phone and cold called Jerry, because that got me into training a young gentleman by the name of David, who then told me about a book by this guy, phil M Jones, this British guy who led me to cold calling Phil, who led me to doing the conference for Brittany.

Erica Rawls:

Wow.

Andrea Daniels:

So if I never cold called Jerry, is it the hardest thing? I would never be sitting across from you. That's fair, that is fair.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, so do you coach and train just real estate people in the real estate industry, or is it?

Andrea Daniels:

you said hairdresser, so I'm guessing not Well, I asked her my whole question, Stacy, I brought her into the real estate industry because she said I want to be successful more than I want to breathe, and I know you're successful, Can you help me? At that point in time I was like what do you mean? I'm successful? I love that, so she's one of the best people on the phone. But, to answer your question, I work with people inside and outside of real estate.

Erica Rawls:

Okay, that's awesome.

Andrea Daniels:

We help them double their business, close more deals, close their mark conversion without being salesy.

Erica Rawls:

Got it Okay. And then the coaching. You just coach, not just, but you are coaching them through having better conversations with people and asking better questions, exactly To get in better relationships, more opportunities.

Andrea Daniels:

Yeah, yeah.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, I'm taking one, yes, and you are challenging me. You are, yes, and I like the questions that you have, because, okay, take someone that's been in the business since what 2007? So we have our own way of doing things, you know at that point, I'm aware.

Andrea Daniels:

Yes, I'm an expert in your field.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah. So to hear someone say well, you know you could do it better, I'm like well, how dare you? Yes, and, yes, I and and there is a better way to do it, and people are being more receptive to it, so that's great, yeah, I love it.

Andrea Daniels:

Could I get away with saying that if I didn't know you and we weren't in relationship with saying it to you like that, oh, you can say better, okay no, no, and you didn't say it that way as a moment.

Andrea Daniels:

Yeah, I'm just saying yeah, I'm paraphrasing yes, yeah, I'm paraphrasing it's funny that you said that because you said I've been doing this since 2000, whatever. So when I went to New York after I read Phil's book, I thought I was a bee's niece. I was like I've been prospecting for years, I know this Like whatever I mean. I was still a little nervous.

Andrea Daniels:

After the first 90 minutes of listening to Phil. I was like I have no idea what I'm talking about. Literally I'm not going to talk for a year, I'm just going to listen and ask questions. I'm definitely not going to talk in front of this guy. And something that Phil said that January first week of January, on 2023, he said whatever you think you're the expert at, start to get really curious, because if you feel like you're the expert at something, can you really grow that field? He said you should always be mastering it. No one really masters it. We're always on our road to mastering. Yeah, like you can always do it better. So when he said whatever, whatever you think you're the expert in, starts to get really curious I was like oh yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

So even brand new people. When they say stuff, I'm like all right, what can I learn from them?

Erica Rawls:

I mean to be honest, I am enjoying the new approach to having conversations with people, because when I first got into my real estate business, it was all about these cans like scripts, and it just felt so icky, right, and I like getting to know people. Icky, yeah, right, and I like getting to know people. So when I first got into it, I had a hard time making those phone calls Cause I'm like I'm not getting to know these people, right, I'm just worried about are they ready to put their house in the market or getting ready, are they ready to buy? So it just felt like, oh, so that's why I didn't enjoy it.

Erica Rawls:

But it wasn't until I realized that I can have conversations with people and I would hear oh, you're different, because you're not asking those questions. I literally be like, hey, like you know, I saw 123 Main Street was on the on the market, right, just out of curiosity, would you be open to you know me? Bring one of the buyers by, or something, or where were you headed to, whatever, whatever, it was right. But I even fine-tuned that after speaking with you and just saying you know, hi, america, how are you? It wasn't like going right into it, but then also asking a simple question like oh boy, I just put myself on the spot. One of the questions I would actually ask them would be like so, just out of curiosity, do you mind sharing? Is it still available for?

Andrea Daniels:

sale.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

If you would have gotten a really good offer when your house was on the market, would you have taken it?

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, so leading with the soft question first and then going into asking for permission, then asking the bitter, bigger question, which being well, where were you going? Why did you put it on the market in the first place, right?

Andrea Daniels:

so just having those relation relational questions available has helped a lot because oftentimes we show up with our own agenda, not the other person's. We show up with our agenda. We're going to be everything we don't want to be, which is salesy. Yeah, because salespeople are pushy. They're just looking for what they want. They're not concerned about the other person. If you show up, ask for permission to get in a conversation, ask questions that serve them and help them, you're going to get in a relationship, faster types of conversations.

Erica Rawls:

I believe they would be more better received by our consumer because they know that their intention is about them and not about us getting in the door to either buy or to sell. Yeah exactly.

Andrea Daniels:

And a lot of people will say you know, are you thinking about selling? Well, to me I'm like can we even swap the word selling? Can you think about making a move? Yeah, because, when you think, a lot of times, when we were saying appointments for Jerry four or five years ago, people were assuming that if Jerry was coming for an appointment, they'd put their house on the market in the next four weeks. No, jerry's going to let you know, if you decide to make a move, what to do with the house, what state you want it in, how much money you want for it, what's important about the move, what's important about selling it and listing it.

Erica Rawls:

So if you said selling, they thought the jury was going to come in and list their house.

Andrea Daniels:

Yeah, that's what the consumer thinks if they let a real estate agent in the door. Could, it be possible. It's actually different if we show differently by asking different questions.

Erica Rawls:

That's exactly right. Yeah, I'm here to say that I met with someone and then six months later, they decided to move forward with us. So it's only because we asked those questions and they weren't ready. Like hey, you're not ready for what?

Andrea Daniels:

you need to do. Just imagine if everyone, if every sales professional, showed up and says all right, whatever you know is important to you, that's what we'll do next. It's not just about listing your house and me getting a commission check because I'm irresponsible with money.

Erica Rawls:

Yeah, 100%. So how can someone get in contact with you? Well, we do have a website.

Andrea Daniels:

I do prefer that people call me, do you?

Erica Rawls:

really Okay, we're going to give your information, yeah.

Andrea Daniels:

I prefer a phone call. You can email me. However, my text message or calling me you'll get me a lot sooner Because I've made phone calls for the last 25 years.

Erica Rawls:

I prefer a phone call. However, if they prefer text or email, that's fine, I'm okay with that. Okay, wonderful, yeah, and then they don't have to be in the state of PA or any state specific.

Andrea Daniels:

Okay, we will travel, we do workshops, we do classes, keynote speaking and a lot of stuff's on Zoom. So yeah, wonderful In person or Zoom. Do I get to ask you a question before we leave?

Erica Rawls:

You know what I knew she was going to do this. I'm ready.

Andrea Daniels:

Help me understand what is important to you about this podcast. That's my first question. What's important? Yeah, what's important to you about this podcast?

Erica Rawls:

Putting your voice out there. Yeah, so the podcast actually came about as a result of having conversations with people every day in real estate. Okay, I realized that, oh my gosh, there's a human factor that we're missing. I didn't care if they were my colleague or if it was a client or someone thinking about getting into the business. I noticed that the human side of things we needed to have a conversation, empowering. So self-worth, right, mental well-being, relationship, all those things right. I wanted to have that conversation. Why is having that?

Andrea Daniels:

conversation important to you personally.

Erica Rawls:

Because it's something that I wish I had when I was growing up.

Andrea Daniels:

Yeah, when was the last time you truly felt heard?

Erica Rawls:

The last time I truly felt heard. Oof, the last time I truly felt heard, actually, it was probably most recently, yeah, and it was with my husband it's a good place to feel heard yeah, I mean I feel heard a lot with him, but I just most recently I'm being aware of it um slowing down yeah, slowing down and actually being where my feet are, yeah, that's so good being where your feet are, and what do you want your legacy to be with this podcast?

Erica Rawls:

That people are empowered to do the things that they thought that they well, they knew they had the ability to do but just may not have had the courage to do it and they actually get the help, whether it's learning how to understand truly who they are Right and being OK, living in their true, authentic self, quirkiness and all Right. Understand that everyone has issues with mental well-being. We all do. We all have that Right. And for those that are ambitious and have the desire to have strong relationships and grow their businesses to the ultimate level, they can do that.

Andrea Daniels:

Thank you Well. I'm impacted by your podcast. I think it's great what you're doing. So, for anyone here who may personally or not personally know Ericaica, there is such a calmness and confidence about you that you immediately feel seen, heard, welcomed, not judged, I mean. It's just, it's warmth. You just walk in, there's just warmth of belonging. So I want to thank you for having me, and you should. We're about to have some tissues. No, no, there's no need to cry, stop. You know, if you need to hire someone on the harrisburg campbell area, erica is definitely the person. You will definitely feel seen and heard and valued and she will take care of you in your home and your family.

Erica Rawls:

Thank you, you're welcome, I appreciate you, you're welcome. Okay, well, you know what? I wasn't ready for that little segment, but we're going to take it. Well, you can use those clips now I receive that. Thank you so much. So if you were impacted by this conversation, let us know, because we're building a community, y'all. It is beautiful, absolutely beautiful, and you know someone that may be impacted by it or needs to hear this message, share it with them and until next time, thank you, andrea, thank you for having me.

Andrea Daniels:

Thank you.

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